Dealing with Disappointments that come from Fellow Believers

Disappointments most times are like stab at the back. You don’t realize the pains until you turn to see the person that Stabbed you. Many Christians are hurting because of disappointment they experienced from a fellow believer. Some even stopped coming to the house of God choosing to find other Church.

Let us look at it from a biblical point.

We are humans not angels, so when someone disappoints us, we ought to allow Holy Spirit so his work in our hearts and minds. Hard to do?


Here are some thoughts: When you are really disappointed:

  1. Acknowledge the Pain but Don’t Stay There:
    It is natural to feel hurt or betrayed (Psalm 55:12–14: “For it was not an enemy that reproached me… but it was you, a man mine equal, my guide, and my acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company”) – Even David was wounded by betrayal from a close companion. Acknowledging the pain is the first step to healing.
  2. Remember That People Are Human and Fallible
    Romans 3:23 – “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”Fellow believers, though saved, are still in the process of sanctification. Keeping this in mind helps reduce unrealistic expectations. Many are not yet where you think they are.
  3. Forgive as Christ ForgaveColossians 3:13 – “Bear with each other and forgive one another… Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”Forgiveness does not excuse the wrong, but it releases you from bitterness and allows God’s healing.
  4. Guard Your Heart Against Bitterness
    Hebrews 12:15 – “See to it… that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Disappointments can lead to resentment. Instead, ask God for grace to keep your heart pure.
  5. Pray for Those Who Hurt You Matthew 5:44 – “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Prayer shifts your focus from the offense to God’s power to transform hearts—including yours.
  6. Seek Healing and Encouragement in God’s Word
    Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Instead of isolating, draw nearer to God. His Word strengthens and restores your hope.
  7. Talk It Through with Maturity and Love (When Appropriate) Matthew 18:15 – “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you.” Sometimes disappointments can be resolved by honest, loving conversation rather than silence or gossip.
  8. Focus on Christ, Not on People Hebrews 12:2 – “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith.”People may fail, but Christ never does. Keep your eyes on Him, your unshakable foundation.
  9. Use the Experience for Growth Romans 8:28 – “All things work together for good to those who love God…” Disappointments can refine patience, deepen compassion, and build spiritual maturity.

Practical Steps for the Christian
1. Pour out your feelings honestly to God in prayer.
2. Choose forgiveness even if the other person doesn’t apologise.
3. Set healthy boundaries if needed (Proverbs 4:23).
4. Surround yourself with godly encouragement.
5. Keep serving God faithfully without withdrawing from fellowship.

When fellow believers disappoint you, don’t let it derail your faith. Recognise human weakness, forgive, guard your heart, pray, and keep your focus on Jesus. What matters is not how people treat you but how you respond in Christ. Amen.

Josiah Soyinka
CFVM Germany

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